noncommittal

no training today. i just got home from a long day at work. dad's surgery is tomorrow morning. he goes in at 9am. they take out the golf ball in his neck. the brother has the first shift~ sleeping over my parents place and taking them to the hospital. the sister has the second shift~ stay with mom during procedure. i have the closing shift~ pick them up. take them home and make sure they're okay. i say "they" because my mom is a wreck... more so than my dad.

seems like the more people i speak with have a personal connection with cancer. wives, parents, aunts, friends, co-workers... not to mention other health issues. it sucks, and i feel like there is more that i can do.

if you know me, then you know that i'm very noncommittal. i rsvp as "maybe" and will not give a definite answer until the last possible moment. i can't even write in my planner with a pen. i use a pencil, and if that's not available, i put it on a post it... just in case. but i feel like i'm not doing everything i can to train for this run. as i said previously, i've got thursday - sunday down. it's monday - wednesday that is the problem... so today, i made another commitment.

the first commitment was to raise money for the leukemia lymphoma society.
http://pages.teamintraining.org/sf/kauai10/atsutaoka

the second commitment was to "commit to get fit." it's basically a 10 week program. once a week with a personal trainer. same day. same time. no cancellations. no rescheduling. no refunds. it sounds harsh, but that's to keep me on schedule.

i'm not in bad shape. my current fitness schedule including my kickboxing classes on tuesday & thursday get me moving. but i have plateaued. my arch is blistered. my knee is hurting. so i need more strengthening and core work. i do not have the disposable income and if i don't raise the money that i committed to, then i'm paying the difference of the $5,000 that i don't raise. but i need this. this is for me and my health. maybe it'll help inspire others to be healthy too.

busy day tomorrow:
run. home. work. hospital. work. parents. teach. parents. home.
will let you know how it goes...

why i'm running

2 months ago my dad called me. he had a tumors on his neck. he has a ct & pet scan results but didn't know what it meant. they wanted to remove it, but my dad wanted to wait. the doctor called him in to get a biopsy and make an appointment with the oncologist. the doctor told him that whatever he had could be treated with chemo. i came by, got the test results and had them translated in regular people terminology. my dad did not only have tumors on his neck... he had multiple ones in his neck, his under arms & his groin area... all the tests were still inconclusive... but something was wrong.

i called my dad and let him know that the tests were inconclusive and that we need to find out what is wrong with him... it looks like lymphoma, but there is nothing positive. his mom (my grandmother) died of lymphoma. we have to see the oncologist and do more tests. my dad told me he was scared. i told him that i loved him, then i got off the phone and cried.

it was my turn to be strong for my dad and mom, but i didn't know what to do. i felt helpless. i couldn't help my dad... we just had to go to the doctor appointments and wait.

it's now may 25, 2010. we still don't know what he has, but the bone marrow biopsy came out negative (WOHOO!). my dad is scheduling a time to remove the tumor and things look better than they did 2 months ago...

that's why i'm running. i'm raising money to cure cancer. it's what i can do to help.

training starts this thursday 5/27/2010 at 5:50am... until then.